You have two options really.
- Trust her and watch it play out.
2. hire a lawyer to protect your own interests and get out.
The only question you need to ask yourself is: “is this something I can continue to live with and have a happy health life, family, and marriage?”
No reasonable person would be comfortable with that kind of situation. To me it sounds like things have progressed beyond what you are comfortable with and no matter how complex the finances, there is always a way out. I left my ex-husband when my twins were 18 months old (I write about it here). It was extremely difficult, but it’s always possible if things are unacceptable to you.